I'm going to tread carefully here because the field is heavily mined. This is good advice on handling someone's last days - but only if you can. Again speaking from experience, you may not be able to shoulder this burden, especially if there are few family members to share it. It may become necessary to protect your own already precarious health and back away. Some things that I learned as my wife and I nursed my four grandparents through their last days over a continuous eight years of hell-
1- If you will do it, the rest of the family will let you.
2- It is not appropriate that the young should be sacrificed to the old.
-Rick
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Originally Posted by made it up
Hi Debbie,
Paula, Rick and Laura all gave excellent advice.
Can I just add to that with some practical needs that might help.
A hospice/palliative care unit is a much kinder environment for him to be in.
Insist he's given the drug levodopa (brand name usually Sinemet) at regular intervals. It will help with swallowing, he'll feel more comfortable and less rigid etc.
Give him small servings of the food he likes (more palatable than hospital food)
Keep his mouth moist, also get thickened liquids they not only are easier to swallow in someone with poor swallowing but provide more calories for him.
Ask staff for special mouth moisturiser that they should have and also lip balm.
If you're up to it the sucker sitting behind his bed can help with gagging of sputum.
Urinary problem can be solved by a catheter.
You or others can stay with him day and night in this type of setting.
Best wishes and take time out for you!
Lee
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