Hello. My mom has Parkinsons Dementia with psychosis and is getting progressively worse. I had no choice but to put her in a nursing home last year. I'm really struggling when it comes to visiting my mom. She frequently acts out, gets physically aggressive (combative), is verbally abusive, is extremely angry and cries all the time. She also has hallucinations and is delusional. This seems to get worse each time I visit her. I have spoken to her care coordinator and have been told that she is on medication (Ativan) to calm her down along with antidepressant and multiple other medications. It appears my visits seem to make her worse and they are extremely upsetting and stressful for me as well. At this point I feel like I'm being forced into a corner; either continue the visits and deal with the havoc it wreaks upon us both or not see my mom at all. I know others probably have the same dilemma. I also have a brother and sister who haven't bothered to see my mom at all in years. This is heartbreaking and I really don't know what to do anymore. If anyone would like to share their experiences/perspective, I would appreciate it.

Hi ShariMcG

Welcome to NeuroTalk though I am sad that it is under such difficult circumstances for you.

I hope that other members will be able to offer you support.

With care.

Shari, my husband has PDD with the psychosis and delusions and hallucinations-he has attacked and chased one of our children with a huge knife, threatened the whole family, accused me repeatedly of infidelity, screamed at men that aren't there, and on and on. It is a near-impossible situation to deal with, and thankfully your mom is not living with you.

When our violent outbursts were occurring, our neuro put my husband on the new drug Nuplazid. Our insurance at the time covered it, and while it didn't stop the hallucinations or delusions, it made them less scary/violent. So, for example, where before my husband would see a man with a gun threatening to kill his mother in the corner (neither of whom were in our house of course), and he would be extremely upset and agitated by this (understandably), after he started Nuplazid, he would see men in our yard getting ready to cut down our trees. Not nearly as frightening.

When our insurance quit covering individual families, we had to find another carrier and of course they didn't cover Nuplazid, which at almost $3,000.00/month was completely unaffordable for us. So we were switched to Namenda, which has, for us, the same effect plus it seems to make my husband less anxious. Win-win.

It sounds like your mom's regiment is not working for her, and it is distressing to think that she might be in a state of high anxiety most of the time. A lot of meds to reduce anxiety make PD symptoms worse (including the non-motor symptoms), so be sure that whatever your mom is taking or is prescribed to take is actually helping her. Sometimes the pharmacist is a great resource to ask-they often know much more about these meds and their interactions than the doctors do

I would talk to your mom's doctor and see if there might be a better med for her. And know that oftentimes, it can take a couple of weeks on a new med to be able to tell if it is working.

Good luck to you, and remember that your mom can't speak for herself, and needs you to advocate for her. You will be thankful you did