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06-16-2014, 11:37 AM | #71 | |||
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Junior Member
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Gerry and Eva - I too, know this demon of depression well, as I think most of us dealing with chronic pain do.
Gerry, what you said about relying on God really resonated with me. I have always taken such comfort in knowing that before God allows ANYTHING - good or bad - to touch my life, that He has first held it in His hands. And in doing so, He has felt every bit of pain, happiness, sorrow, joy, sadness - He has felt it all before I feel it. That means that when it does touch my life - whatever it is, good or bad - it is covered by His fingerprints. The fact that He still allows it to touch my life gives me strength - because I know He wants to use whatever situation to either teach me something, to strengthen my faith, or to allow me to use my experience to somehow be a blessing and an encouragement to someone else. I think I would just crumble into a broken pile of dust if I didn't have the assurance that He brings everything into my life for a reason. I am so blessed by the two of you and the transparency with which you share your experiences - y'all are truly an encouragement to me! =Becky |
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06-16-2014, 12:10 PM | #72 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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from both
the wisdom the experience you both share strengthen me in our Almighty as we understand all as it is suppose to be i so love you for caring and sharing be well God bless us all
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (06-16-2014) |
06-16-2014, 09:09 PM | #73 | ||
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Member
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hey Eva....hang on to that glimmer of Light you see....pull yourself out....
there was a trigger to it...my depression episodes lay in wait for a "sad" moment ...I put up my guard when I encounter just normal sad things in life. I have learned how to nurture my spirit with my garden or the pool, Think about the triggers and how to prevent them if you can. I understand how hard it is to put ourselves first...so foreign as we (you and I) take care of others first...this is my greatest life lesson....to put myself first. Right here when you need support. HB (said the codependent who is laughing out loud at herself) |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (06-17-2014), ger715 (06-16-2014) |
06-16-2014, 11:45 PM | #74 | ||
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Magnate
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Becky,
I pray your surgery will be successful and the God given strength to cope with your recovery. Your understanding of what I felt inspired to write today truly touched me. You confirmed everything so beautifully. Gerry |
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06-17-2014, 05:58 AM | #75 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
I love you Me Everything I need to hear
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (06-17-2014), Hannabananna (06-17-2014) |
06-17-2014, 06:02 AM | #76 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
In this confirmation of Women empowering other Women Stand in the Spirit As you so beautifully reminded me Your Spirit filled heart a priceless gift Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (06-17-2014) |
06-19-2014, 10:03 AM | #77 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day blessings to all especially those who suffer pain in all forms it was an uneasy night all areas from groin hip knee feet hands beat with a pain as if i had an on and off button and someone is messing with me it wakes me as it cannot be worked out deep in my joints my surgery site is always an issue just cannot believe all this time gone by and no getting better i hear from my sister my birth mother has RA she was receiving some form of iv treatment was told it will stop as it does not help i understand she too is in some terrible pain both myself and my sister are ruled out having RA degenerative bone disease we all suffer from my two sisters have grown in the sane area since coming into the USA I was 5 years old my sister 3 my last sister born here in the USA WE ALL STAYED what most people around the world know as the Tri-State area only i am across the river Lincoln Tunnel 5 minutes to the City that never sleeps only on this side of the river all along Newark, Bayonne, Elizabeth, Linden and so many other cities with towering smokestacks eliminating who knows what over the years living along the strip known as cancer alley of longshoremen and then 911 only God knows the elements of irresponsible factory working people only to die by the hands of illegal dumping in our waters air soil and now we are concerned those who prospered in ways that in the end killed their workers i detect a little resentment EVA you got it Father Blessings to all the immigrants who entered this country in the hopes of free dreaming when my parents became citizens my father was sad sad to see the fast world back in the late 60's 70' my years as a young girl going to school not understanding anything just me and my sister my father always tried not for us to be Americanized it made him sad to see how greedy impolite unfair to a man disable oh it was prevalent in my home town and things are not much different it is where i can call my boss on his turd politics hate to love it soooooooooooo much corruption sooooooooooooo much greed all i want is to get back on the saddle it just hurts to much my town knows me well enough in the municipal clan what i stand for this a life long accomplishment and to have reached a point when life is exciting and i am stuck stuck in a body that cannot sit in a chair no more than a half hour and i need to get up while in up position maybe another half hour before i need to lie down on my left side fetal position and it hasn't gotten any better in any way my head still how i would love to take it off for it's to heavy to have on my shoulders my bodily functions are harder and worse as the days go by i hear myself for the thousandth time it is just sometimes i can't believe i thought it was a stiff neck and all the others put in the basket of good old fashion body aging for my young mind be trapped in this compromised body and know i would have had a better chance if i hadn't suffered the immediate inability to drain properly and it undo whatever he did was damaged by the gross swell and he knows it oh does he know it if i had more time to heal after my first fusion and NOT return back in the two weeks might i have fused unfortunately that was not my case i still have it on the burner hoping someone would be willing to fight a well prepared file to show so many erroneous statements including my sexual violation Father how do i get up every single day what was put upon me Father i know sending him "the picture" of yet another hematoma as i was drained and released the following morning for it to grow over two nights called him told him i took a "picture" so i could see it my children rushed me to the hospital not a word out of his mouth just drained, drained, drained and drained sent me on my way my daughter with me the whole time Father how when it is still so clear in my mind when i wake up in pain wench on and on and go on my meds given from the very beginning as more evolved out of this and i decline those who follow understand this is something i speak with my therapist it to a affirmation i am sane i am not of the norm i have a different hope that people are who they are and for him to say to me still to date "eva are you surprised (he refer to the mean spirited people) and i say yes and i still am the same give benefit of doubt i still await someone to hear from someone i took into my life as a true sister the chances of the parallel down to our nationality mothers best friends names the same very much no other explanation to it but FAITH in DIVINE INTERVENTION and yet to hear from her since her last visit a month ago she stayed the week that couldn't have been more chaotic my daughter picked up two days before she came certainly not something you want to have going on while having company so needed her faith she is doing well as she suffered a brain bleed and has come along wonderfully i am tired of waking up feeling worn out and physically distraught having to pump up myself everyday Father i ask as i go through this physical torment that you grant me freedom of anger i pray you rip it from my brain heart being all together it has no room anymore things are as they are to be and that's me understanding logically i have no shame in my hopeful attempt but because my family needed help i felt sure i would not experienced what my son did and still no restitution twice had no chance for a third and life still had to go on with a heavy heart it takes on the world help me Father in my Blessings keep my family from falling apart i trust and believe it is thy will be done Amen! help me with Corissa in Jesus name help her Amen
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (06-20-2014), Hannabananna (06-19-2014) |
06-20-2014, 06:37 AM | #78 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day For all who need MM to help with all the coverage it has now come to the forefront For the babies who suffer seizures over a hundred a day to the cancer patients for the relief of some nerve related issues New York has made it legal to have MM to those who need IT It will be a 7 year "pilot" It cannot be smoked To eat it or the idea such as the E cigarette Father I know this to be a blessings to many Such as my daughter her doctor in NYC Here in Jersey hoping Chris jumps on board I do believe if not careful depending on the individual and their genetic make up concerning addictive personality could be a gateway to other drugs including alcohol And this when used recreationally NOT MEDICALLY Where it is so much needed Good going Governor Cuomo It is my wish that this plant be used as it too was given by our creator In Jesus Christ I trust Our brother Jesus Oh to be touched by you Father to know you are in my being that evil does not prevail that my children grow with you in their heart To the wonderful place I can come to and share my experience strength and hope May we all empower each other with information that is priceless Thank you Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (06-20-2014), Hannabananna (06-20-2014) |
06-20-2014, 07:03 AM | #79 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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just found this picture of the whole family my 3 daughters and my son and my granddaughter taken on Christmas
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06-20-2014, 07:28 AM | #80 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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now you understand why i cry over my dog
this is my dog with sara eve
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